The Bond of Love
by Beccky
Summary: Raven finally has the ability to feel her emotions, in doing so she reveals her feelings for Robin, and she fears that she may lose the one constant love in her life that kept her going. It's only when a certain villain captures her affections that Robin realizes he wants her. A little BBxRae, RobxStar and mainly RedX x Rae . T for self-inflicted violence&cursing. R&R please!:)
1. Mistakes

It was never going to end. The intense, throbbing, pang of angst ate away at her heart and mind, slowly causing her psyche to descend into insanity. Raven Roth winced as the lamp besides her shattered into a million of pieces. Her emotions were out of control again. Lately, they have been harder to control because of the nightmares she had. Shaking her head slightly, she closed her eyes and began to meditate, she would clean up the broken glass later.

She let herself relax as she began to chant her soothing mantra. "Azarath, metrion, zinthos...Azarath, metrion, zinthos...Azarath, metrion, zinthos...Azar-" The chant was interrupted by a sudden knock at her door and and an irritating voice calling her name, and breaking her concentration. Beast Boy. She got up begrudgingly, and stalked to the door. It opened slightly so all Beast Boy could see was her face, void of any emotion except annoyance. Beast Boy remained unfazed by her negativity, and continued to speak.

"Heya, Rae! The rest of the team and I are going to the pizzeria to eat some veggie pizza, and since you weren't up there to ask...i figured i'd come and ask you...so..." He looked at her eagerly, hoping she'd figure out what he was aiming for, and say yes. /when she offered no response, he spoke where he left off. "So...wanna come with us? Wouldnt it be nice to get out of your room?" He rubbed the back of his head nervously and let out a tiny chuckle. Raven stared at him for a few moments, as if deciding. "No.", she answered in her signature monotone. Beast Boy sighed in frustration.

"But Rae... You haven't come out of your room at all really since..you know...the whole thing with your dad.. we just want to hang out with you. Pleeeease?" He morphed into a puppy momentarily, giving puppy dog eyes as a form of begging, before turning back into himself. Raven's eyes narrowed in further irritation. Why would her friends never take no for an answer? Why did they constantly have to be on her back? She knew they were only trying to show they cared for her, but still, no meant no.

She closed her eyes, trying not to let her anger get the best of her, for Beast Boy was doing nothing wrong. Her voiced remained emotionless as she answered him. "I said no, Beast Boy. Now please, just leave me alone." Before he could protest, she shut her door in his face and sat back down on her bed, assuming her meditation position. She simply could not lose control of her emotions. It would only end in disaster, no matter how badly she wanted to show her glee, her eagerness to be with the people she loved... the boy she loved. Raven shook her head, snapping out of that dream. It was never going to happen, she was never going to be allowed to feel, and it killed her. Sure, she was told that if she just let go of the anger and resentment she held deep within her heart, she would be able to begin a normal life.

It wasnt that simple to let go. It wasnt that simple, even though she destroyed the only barrier from letting her experience life with emotions; her father. Raven was still so infuriated that it took her so long to defeat him, and she absolutely resented the fact that she couldnt do it alone. Her friends had to help her, because when it came to her father, Raven became weak and vulnerable, because she knew her fathers sadistic evil side, and now that she had friends, _family, _she couldnt let him destroy that.

Trigon was gone now, yes, but the pain and suffering he had put her through, his near success at making her complete the prophecy only drove her to continue hiding her emotions. She was scared of feeling, because she was scared of losing everything she had. It had been quite a while that she sat there, lost in thought, forgetting to meditate. Fatigue swept over her, and she felt her eyelids grow heavy with exhaustion, and they slowly closed over her amethyst eyes. Maybe nap would do her good, calm her nerves a little, for she lost so much sleep from the nightmares. She would only sleep for a little while. She let herself slip into the serenity of resting, and inwardly prayed no nightmares would visit her tonight.

The rest of the titans arrived home a little later, with their stomachs full, and happiness filled. Beast Boy and Cyborg proceeded to head towards the tv, where they began to argue about what game they would play. Cyborgs booming voice caused Robin and Starfire to jump, and come out of the romantic moment they were having in each others arms.

"BB, We are playing Halo! Now get yo butt up, and put the game in, man!"

"No way, dude! I just got Modern Warfare Three! We're playing that and that's final!"

"I swear to god, BB, if you don't put Halo in, so help me god.."

"Halo sucks, dude! No!"

"Beast Boy, YOU suck!"

"If we don't play Mw3 im gonna make you eat tofu!"

"Beast boy, if you don't put in Halo, i'm going to make your ass eat my foot."

"Dude, gross! Can we jus-"

Beast boy was interrupted by a concerned Starfire, who left Robin's embrace to resolve the best friends fighting. "Friends...How about we do not do the 'kicking of the butts', and do more of the 'watching of the movies'?" Her big emerald eyes innocently pleaded with them, a hopeful smile on her face. Beast boy and Cyborg looked at each other and sighed, giving up on their fight.

"Okay, fine, we can hold it off for another night. What do you wanna watch, Star, Rob?" They asked in unison, that's how close they were. Starfire giggled and clasped her hands together in delight. "Glorious! I wish to watch the Super of Bad... it looked funny, did it not?" Robin, Beast Boy and Cyborg nodded in agreement and the four of them sat down to watch it. It was then that Robin noticed one titan wasn't present.

Raven. He felt like he hadn't seen her in ages. That gorgeous face...those beautiful eyes.. wait, ehy was he thinking that? He was with Star, and he was happy with her..right? He shook the thought away from his head, and asked the burning question in his mind. "Does anyone know where Raven is? Is she still in her room?" Beast Boy nodded at his question. "Yeah, i don't think she's come out of her room at all even when we left. But i don't wanna go check on her, she might eat me alive." Robin half smiled and began to ponder. He couldn't reach her mentally, she was able to block him when she wanted to. Deciding he was going to go check on her, he told the team, before getting up and heading down towards her room.

She awoke, and felt something wet stain her face. Reaching her hand up, she dipped a finger into the substance and brought it back down to examine. Tears. Her dream suddenly cam back to her, and her eyes grew wide with despair and remorse. She had dreamt about him. Robin. Her leader, best friend, and Starfire's _boyfriend_.

He had kissed her in the aftermath of her fathers defeat, only to tell her it was out of pity, because nobody could ever love her. She cried in her sleep because hearing those words, though unreal, escape his mouth crushed her heart more than it already was, and destroyed her. More tears began sliding down her face, but it felt good. It felt good to show emotion, to not supress her internal pain.

At the same time, it disgusted her to be so weak, to show sadness. She was terribly conflicted because this weak moment of sadness made her feel strong in a way, because it gave her hope that she could actually become a part of the team. Isolation still kept her from complete happiness because she was the odd one out in the group. Cyborg had Beast Boy, and Robin...well Robin had Starfire.

Jealousy, the emotion she never really felt before, burned in her belly and it puzzled her. Starfire was the sweetest girl she ever had a relationship somewhat close to friendship with, she had no reason to feel this way. Raven knew the real reason she was jealous, Starfire was everything Raven was not. Tall, curvy, with long bright hair, and an irresistible face, Starfire couldnt even compare to Raven.

While Starfire was full of light, Raven was dark. She stood no chance of ever being with Robin and it broke her heart. She hated her life, absolutely _fucking _hated it. Nothing ever seemed to go in her favor, and she was constantly miserable. Why did it have to be _her _that had to bear the burden of being a half-demon? To have to become unemotional to survive in the world?

Her own existence sicked her. As she began to cry harder, she felt that doing so helped at least ease some of her pain. To Raven, there seemed to be no escape from her miserable hell that was her life. She stopped and held her breath when she heard another knock at her door. 'Beast Boy. He doesn't give up' she thought angrily. The next knock was more persistent, almost urgent sounding. She was about to get up and yell at Beast Boy, until she heard the person speak, and it wasn't Beast Boy. It was Robin.

Robin stood outside her door, ready to knock again, when the door flew open. Half of Raven's face, still noticably tear-stained and angry, appeared. Her tone was clipped as she spoke. "Yes, Robin?" Robin stared back at her uneasily, until he found the courage to speak. "Hey, Raven... i heard you crying, and i..i just wanted to know if you were okay, if you wanted to maybe...talk?"

He looked into her eyes, hoping to see those purple orbs soften, but instead they hardened with anger. "Go away." Her voice remained quiet, but the anger inside it was loud and clear. "Raven i just want to make sure that everything is al-" Her eyes glowed red for an instant as she interrupted him. "Go away, Robin. I said go. I don't want to talk. Can't you all just let me be?"

Despair cracked her voice and she shut the door before Robin could have a chance to see tears fall again. He persisted on talking to her, trying to break through her barrier. "Raven, i'm here for you, you know you can tell me anything, it would make you feel better to get it off your chest, trust me. Just talk to me!" He heard shattering inside her room, and Raven's voice boomed angrily at him.

"WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE, NOW JUST DO IT ROBIN I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!" Robin bowed his head down in defeat, but he clenched his fists in anger. "Fine," He said icily. With that, he walked away, down the hall and entered his room. Forget movie night, he was going to get down to the bottom of why Raven was so angry.

Raven slid down to the floor, agonized. She couldn't take it anymore. The pain, it was consuming her whole. She did need to talk, but she couldn't talk to Robin, not after what just happened. Beast Boy. She was going to talk to Beast Boy. Leaving her room, she wandered up the stairs until she entered the living room. Beast Boy sat on the couch, watching the movie alone, because Cyborg had decided to work on the T-car, and Starfire was painting her nails. He looked up when he saw Raven approach him, and scrambled to get up, but paused when he saw the tortured look on her face. "Hey Rae, what's wrong?" He frowned, he'd never seen Raven like this before.

Raven sat down next to Beast Boy and buried her face in her hands before she turned to look at him. "How can i get him to love me? I love him, Beast Boy." Confusion spread across his face before Beastboy asked, "Who do you love, Rae?" Shame washed over her face as a tear slid out of her eye. "Robin. I love Robin." Beast Boy was shocked, but not terribly, he noticed that since the two birds found out they had a bond, they had became closer.

"Well...have you talked to him about it?" Raven's face fell completely as she whispered, "No, he would laugh at me. Nobody could ever love me. Especially him." Sadness filled Beast Boy's eyes and voice as he placed a hand over Raven's. He knew what that felt like. "It's okay, Raven. I'm here for you." Raven shook her head, and pulled away from him. "I'm no good to the team, Beast Boy, and knowing that i'll never be special to Robin like Starfire, i feel like i'd be better off and more useful dead and gone. This team doesn't need me."

"Raven!" Robin shouted from berhind the wall he was hiding. He had heard everything and it filled with sorrow that Raven felt that way, for she had no idea that he felt those feelings for her too, he hadn't realized it until her heard her crying. Her head snapped up as her gaze met his, and before Robin could do anything else, Raven disappeared out of the room.

Beast Boy shook his head angrily at Robin, and Robin knew exactly the torment Raven had gone through feeling love for him, and it broke Robin's heart. He had to tell her how he felt. He had to let her know that he loved her too, before it was too late. Robin knew that if he didn't tell her, he could very well lose her forever, and that was not going to happen.


	2. Effects

Jump City had seemed so much smaller before, but that was probably due to the fact that Raven could fly. Right now, she didn't feel like flying, she just wanted to admire the indigo sky and the alabaster stars scattered among it. It amazed her that such a simple thing held ethereal beauty, the enchanting brilliance of night-time over powered the rays of sunshine daytime bore.

Raven wandered down the street, pondering her conversation with Beast Boy. It had felt exhilarating and calming to finally tell _someone _how she felt, to let someone see beyond her steely exterior. Beast Boy, even with his habit to annoying the demon out of her, was the person she felt comfortable to be around and talk to. She was just incredibly embarrassed that Robin had heard her heartfelt confession. That he had heard the pain and the sadness she had kept locked away inside her for so long, that he heard her being _weak_.

Sighing, she stopped walking. Running away from her problems wouldn't do anything but cause more. She glanced up at the sky once more, longing to just be like it could, without any worry of ruin, when her communicator beeped. She reached down and unclipped it from her belt and looked to see who it was. Robin.

She shut her eyes, attempting to gather herself before she could speak, but Robin interrupted her. "Raven, i'm sorry about what happened back at the tower, could you come back so we could talk about it?" His expression was apologetic but hopeful, and it only made Raven exhale in frustration and defeat. "Fine, whatever." She clicked off, not wanting to hear or see the Boy Blunder any longer until she got to the Tower. Turning back around, she began to walk in the direction of the tower until she walked into something hard, but at the same time soft. Fleshy.

Looking up, Raven found herself staring into the mask of none other than the infamous Red X.

Raven rolled her eyes, not bothering to greet him and attempted to move around him, but he blocked her. "Hey hey, Sunshine, no hello? Well that's not very polite." Raven could almost hear the smirk in his mocking voice and narrowed her eyes at him. "I find it utterly hilarious that a guy in spandex who steals for a living is trying to tell _me _to be polite.", she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Now, if you don't mind.." Trying to move past him once again, Raven found herself being blocked from moving by an arm placed on her shoulder. "Oh come on, Rae Rae. Just trying to have a conversation with a pretty lady, now that isn't a crime, is it?"

Raven blasted him with the black power coming from her hands, her eyes glowing red briefly. "Don't. Call. Me. That." she huffed out angrily. "And it is a crime when it's _you._" X pretended to be hurt, as he got up from the ground. He shook his head slightly before responding. "Now Raven, that wasn't very nice. I wasn't going to do this, but now you made me." Without warning, a red X adhesive flew its way towards her and landed on her mouth. Another X quickly wrapped itself around her petite form. Raven struggled frantically as X hoisted her up and threw her over his shoulder. "I really wish i didn't have to do that. Now tonight's going to be an incredibly long one, Sunshine. But it will be worth it, i promise, Baby doll." Her eyebrows furrowed in anger as X disappeared with her into the shadows of the night.

'Where was she? Where was Raven! it had been 45 minutes already. Where could she possibly be?' Robin fumed. It wasn't like her to break promises so easily. There had to be something wrong, he just couldn't pinpoint what. Raven hadn't answered his numerous t-com calls, and his worry as her friend and leader grew with each unanswered call. Robin turned around when he felt a presence behind him, assuming it was Raven. It was Starfire. She floated over to him, a look of sincere worry over her innocent features. "Friend Robin, What is it that troubles you? Is it Friend Raven?" She put a hand on his shoulder consolingly. "I am most certain that she is in the alright. She is just doing the 'cooling off'." Starfire smiled sweetly at him, and Robin found himself smiling back. Their moment was interrupted when Cyborg came rushing into the room. "Yo, Rob! We got a problem. It's X."

Robin went to the communicator screen in the security room. On the screen was X, who was drumming his fingers boredly against something...yellow..Raven's communicator! Robin squinted at him infuriated. "X! What are you doing with Raven's communicator? where is she!" He demanded. A chilling laugh escaped his enemy, and it unsettled Robin. "Rae Rae is right here with me, chillin' like a villain. " He turned the screen so Robin could view Raven beside X, still bound in the red tape. X turned the screen back to him, and crossed his arms smugly. "So, birdboy. You have something that i want in return for Raven... That staff...it could solve all my problems. So what's more valuable? The staff, or your Titan?"

Cringing in anger, Robin could barely get the words out behind his clenched teeth. "Why do you want the Staff, X?" He could almost hear X rolling his eyes as he snarkily responded, "Gee, for the Leader you aren't very bright. I said it could solve all my problems. Financially that is." Robin raised a brow in indifference, unsure as to how this was important. As if reading his mind, X continued with a big show of an aggravated sigh. "Which means...that the theft rate for Jump City suddenly drops..well, really low. Whaddya say, Birdbrain?" Robin raised his hands to his temple, completely and utterly frustrated.

"Fine, you have the Staff. What about Raven?" X chuckled softly as he looked to the annoyed but desperate to be free girl beside him. "You know, I'll give you Raven. if you agree to let me have the rest of the night with her. A deals a deal." "Why do you want her, X? Just bring her back now and the staff is yours. Leave her out of this." X laughed again, but his tone was cold. "You can meet me at Slades old hideout tomorrow night at 11. But i think i might keep her." He did his two fingered salute and cut the connection as Robin yelled, "X-!" Robin rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. X was more trouble than he thought. He just hoped that Raven would be okay until he could save her.

"Aww, come on Sunshine. You have to eat at least something," X was telling Raven. He was trying to feed her since she hadn't eaten anything since he had her and it was starting to annoy and worry him. The titan was a stubborn little girl, and he found himself more drawn to it. He didn't understand why Robin didn't date her instead of Starfire. Sure, Starfire was obviously beautiful, but Raven was a different kind of beautiful and she was so much more..interesting and insightful. Robin had to see that in her at least. He quickly left his thoughts when he felt a feeble attempt at biting on his hand. He had been trying to feed Raven when she decided to bite him. X wagged his finger at her warningly. "ah, ah. Rae. I told you that if you pulled any of that again I was going to kiss you. Raven glowered at him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of doing so. X laughed full-heartedly at her silence. "God, you're not like other girls. Thats why i love you."

His eyes went wide behind his mask and he grew stiff as he watched Raven's eyes widen with shock and confusion. "You...what?" He cocked his head to the side, and repeatedly slowly, "I.. Love you." Raven became so confused and she felt all the emotions inside her screaming to do something, anything to relieve the itching curiosity that burned in her mind. "Raven.. can i...can i kiss you?" X asked almost shyly.

She didn't speak, but stared at him for a few moments before nodding. X reached up and lifted his mask off, revealing a pair of beautiful blue-gray eyes staring down at her. He searched her violet ones before lightly grabbing her chin in his hand and crashing his mouth down on hers. Raven couldn't believe it. Her and X. X and her. What about Robin? She didn't care.

Who was Robin, she felt the rudeness inside her ask. She was here, kissing X. Someone who cared for her. Someone who wasn't Robin. Deep down though, she knew she still harbored feelings for him, but she felt a whole new set of feelings opening for X. She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes, determined and curious. "What's your name? Your real one?" X smirked down at her, lightly tracing a finger down her cheek. His black hair fell into his eyes as he answered her. "Jason."

It seemed to fit him. Raven just simply could not believe it. Over the course of about six hours, Raven found herself falling in love again. With X. A villain. And she never felt more excited and happy in her life. She just prayed that it wasn't a dream, and if it wasn't that Robin wouldn't ruin her chance at happiness tomorrow. That he wouldn't take away her chance to love someone else when he took away the chance to love him.

She felt a tear coming out of her eye, but was too slow to brush it away as X-Jason noticed. "Rae..what's wrong?" She shut her eyes in shame, cowering away from him. "I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid that i'm going to lose everything again. I'm afraid." He wasn't sure how to comfort her, but he made sure that she was going to know that he would never leave her.


	3. Choices

It felt incredibly strange...but at the same time so _good _to be in X's arms. To feel her former unfeeling heart skip a beat when he wrapped his muscular arms wrap themselves around her. His chin rested gently against the top of her head, and Raven couldn't help but wonder if this was real. Would she wake up yet again in her room, alone and miserable? She pinched herself, and found the minor pain shoot through her.

It wasn't a dream. It was real. _He _was real. The clock ticked above her, and she glanced up at it to see it was almost 10 in the morning. Shifting, she moved so she could swiftly wriggle her way out of X's arms, but as soon as she tried, she found his grip on her grow tighter. "I see someone is awake," He said huskily, a half smirk on his face. Before Raven could respond, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, delighted to have her here. He wanted to just lay there, forever with her.

His heart has never felt this way before, strong and true love flowing inside, making it beat fast. Suddenly he heard a crash come through the door, and the window. X quickly slipped on his mask and rushed out of the bedroom, and into the living room to find Robin standing there, staff in hand, seething. "Where is Raven?" He growled angrily. X crossed his arms, determined to win this battle. "Here." He said simply, causing Robin to lunge at him, his hands wringing around X's neck.

Robin tightened his hold on X, but then fell back when X brought his foot up and into Robin's back. "AAARGH!" Robin yelled, and was about to come back at him with an attack, when the two teens heard a desperate female voice yell, "Stop! Robin, Jason! Stop!"

Both guys turned to look towards the direction of the voice, and they found Raven. They pulled away from one another, smoothing their uniforms sheepishly. "Raven.." Robin began, but Raven shook her head, and held her hand up. She wasn't having it. "I'm not in danger Robin. I don't need saving." Robin's mask crinkled in confusion. He didn't understand. Why didn't she want to come back? What was going on between her and X? Was there something? Could she really betray him, and the team? Robin took a step towards her. "What's going on, Rae..? Is there something I should know about?"

He reached out to grab her hand, but Raven shrugged away from him. "Why does it matter, Robin? You have Starfire." Anger sharpened her voice, and her body grew tense. "I can't have a member of my team going off and getting _romantically _involved with a villain! How does this happen, when last night you told Beast Boy that you were in love with me?!" Raven turned her face away in shame, her cheeks glowing pink with embarrassment. "I...i thought i was.", She stammered.

Robin shook his head in disbelief. "So now you're in love with X? A villain? My enemy?" His voice grew louder along with his anger and frustration. Raven seemed to shrink under his rage, and this caused X to come closer to her and wrap an arm around her shoulder supportively. "Shut up, BirdBrain. You have no right to act like this towards her. If she fell in love with me, so what? You fell in love with Starfire the minute you laid eyes on her. But as soon as Raven decides she might love someone other than you, it suddenly isn't okay?" Robin growled, infuriated.

"She doesn't love you, Idiot! She is just using you to get back at me for hearing her confession to BeastBoy, which is completely pointless because i love her too!" Raven stared at him, tears of disbelief and despair glistening in her eyes. It was quickly replaced by anger and denial. "You can't say that to me. No. You can't! You can't say that to me! It isn't fair, Robin. You can't do this now!" Raven felt the emotions inside her, screaming, aching to be released. Anger, hatred, and sadness controlled her mind and heart and Raven felt the objects in the room shattering as her emotions grew out of control.

X reached out to grab her in his arms, and she dug her hands into his shoulders and buried her face into his chest, her face wet with tears of anger and sadness. "Raven.." Robin whispered, almost pleadingly. Raven shook in X's arms, unwilling to look at him. "Just go, Robin. Please." Robin nodded, as he backed off but not before telling her, "The team will be there when you're ready to come back.." He nodded, trying to swallow his own tears, and then he was gone. Raven sighed as she thought about what he said. How would she juggle being a titan, and being in a relationship with a criminal at the same time?

Unless.. "X...how would you feel about being a Titan.. going on the good side of life for change?" X cocked his head at her, confused, until he realized what she meant. If he somehow joined the Titans, Raven wouldn't have to choose which one she wanted more. He knew that Boy Blunder would make her choose between the Team or him, and Raven didn't have the heart for that. "How would you even get that idiot to agree to such a thing, letting a criminal join the Titans?"

A small smile crept on her lips as she said slyly, "Well..if Robin really does feel that way about me, he would give anything to have me back.. so it wouldn't be much of a problem to convince him.." X laughed, impressed by her scheme. "Blackmail, little bird? I didn't know you had it in ya, Sunshine. I'm beginning to like you more and more each second I spend with you." Raven giggled, and it surprised her, as it was something she rarely did. X took her hand in his and rose her up along with him. "Come on," He said, "let's go get something to eat. All this soap opera drama-rama has starved me." He rubbed and pat his stomach dramatically, and Raven laughed. X was truly an interesting guy, and boy, did she love being his captive..and boy, she couldn't wait until she brought him back to the tower.

The titans meanwhile, were puzzled as to why Robin was so moody. He had said Raven was fine, so what was the matter? It was after Starfire's incessant, "Friend Robin, please tell me the worries of your problems. I wish to help" that Robin finally told them everything. "So...you're mad that Raven loves somebody else, because..?" Beast Boy asked, confused. Robin glared at him, god he just didn;t get it, but he didn't expect him to. "No! I'm mad because the girl i'm in love with is in love with my enemy!" He shouted angrily. Suddenly a gasp was heard, and all three boys turned to see Starfire with her hands pressed to her mouth and tears in her eyes. "It...it is not me you love, Robin, but Friend Raven?" Robin stood speechless, unsure of what to say, but Starfire fled down towards her room before he could find a way to apologize. Great. now he had officially ruined two girls, his friends, teammates hearts. What was he going to do to fix it? He just didn't know... he had to get Raven back first. No matter what.


	4. Actions and Secrets

It was nearly dusk when Raven decided to make her way back to the tower, along with X. There was a battle of emotions fighting fiercely in her heart, but she kept her face calm, collected. She wasn't completely positive that Robin would agree to letting X join the team. X was a criminal after all, who could blame Robin for being so cynical? It completely bugged her, though, that after all the time where the Boy Wonder could have told her his feelings, he chose now to tell her his true feelings.

When she had finally discovered someone else who made her heart beat faster than the speed of lightning. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so...happy. It was a foreign feeling to her, when she was used to feeling nothing but sorrow..or nothing at all. Her heart had cracked through its iron-wrought shield and the warmth of love, having someone to love made her whole again. Human. But fear was the heart of love, and it kept her company, as she couldn't help but fear she would lose him.

She was afraid that she would wake up one day and everything would be gone, that he would be gone. Finding X had saved her life in so many ways. He was the reason she was happy, truly happy, and the reason that she stopped contemplating suicide. Before, she couldn't recall how many times she sat in her room, alone in the dark, desperate to end her agony. She always kept to herself in her room because she never felt like she belonged with the Titans. Sure, they were her friends and they cared about her, but she didn't understand why.

She never showed the same affection that they did to her, she was afraid to, of hurting them. Letting her emotions show always ended up hurting people. She hated being different..born from darkness and hatred. The only thing that had prevented her from leaving was the talk she had with Robin one day. One thing he said to her still stuck with her to this day. "We all have a little darkness inside us, Raven. Sometimes we're just too afraid to let it out, Just as you're afraid to let the good in you show." That had struck a nerve in her, because he was right.

Her darkness was different though, it never seemed to fade away.. until now. Until X. A shy smile curved on her lips, as she thought of the man beside her. Raven quickly looked up when he nudged her, and she found themselves standing in front of the tower. She let out a nervous exhale, and X leaned down to kiss her tenderly. "Well, here we go." He said with a wink., and with that they entered.

Robin expected Raven to show up, and she did. What he didn't expect was X, his hand intertwined with hers. Cyborg saw this too, and his protective instinct over Raven caused him to start out, "Whoa man, what the he-" but Robin held up his hand, signaling him to be quiet. He stepped towards Raven and X, bewildered. "Raven.. i thought you were coming alone..why is he here."

Raven sighed exasperatedly, as if he were a child and she was the parent having to explain something to him for the millionth time. "He insisted on coming. Besides, he's here for a purpose..." Robin raised his brow questioningly before she continued, "I want to stay on the Titans..with one condition. X gets to join the Titans." She crossed her arms, calmly waiting for an answer. Robin's eyes bugged out in disbelief behind his mask, certain he hadn't heard that right. But he had. "Why would i ever let a criminal join the teen titans, a team of heros?"

Raven had been expecting this question, it was a typical Robin thing to ask. "Because.. he hasn't committed any crimes lately...and if you don't...i'm going to leave too." Robin stood thoughtful, until he could respond. "Well..what if he betrays the Titans, and commits a crime?" She immediately answered with, "He agreed to be turned in willingly, but he's not going to commit one, so don't get your hopes up."

There was no way for him to deny her request without sounding moronic, and more importantly without losing her.. "Fine, he can join i guess. I'm not thrilled about this, Raven." Her face broke out into a smile, and she hugged Robin, whispering, "you don't know how happy you just made me." He smiled slightly as she let go of him, nodding hesitantly at X before walking back down to his room. Raven was screaming with joy inside.

She felt so complete, she had everything she wanted now. She took Jason's hand into hers and guided him towards her room. Of course, he'd be rooming with her. As the door to her room swooshed open and shut behind them, violet-tinged darkness shrouded over them. They were alone. Suddenly, without thinking, Raven found herself kissing him, her hands placed on his chest, longingly.

They kissed passionately for what seemed like an eternity when in reality it was mere minutes. X and her fell down on to the bed, with her beneath him. She looked so mystical and beautiful beneath him, her lavender hair a lovely waterfall around her, her eyes heavy-lidded with lust. Beautiful pale skin flushed pink, glistening lips ruby red.

As they found themselves removing each others clothing, X thought that this moment couln't get anymore perfect. He nibbled at her neck, relishing in her sighs of delight before he finally deemed it ready to enter her. As he did, he covered her small scream of pain with his mouth, as he broke through the barrier that was her virginity. As they both lost themselves in passion, neither one of them realized that he had forgotten to use protection. They would worry about that later, because for now, they just wanted to be.

***About Two Weeks Later***

Raven awoke to find herself feeling sick to her stomach. It was dull, at first, kind of like how when one feels nervous, as if butterflies were flying around inside. Then it turned into full-on nausea. She leapt out of bed, and made a mad dash to her bedroom. Barely even making it to her destination, she flipped the toilet seat open and spilled her stomach contents into it.

What was wrong with her? She pressed a hand to her forehead, feeling no heat, no temperature. Her i hands felt clammy, though, like when someone is sick. But...she wasn't sick, so why was she feeling this way?

She stood, lost in thought until a realization came to her, but it seemed impossible that it could happen to her, that she, Responsible Raven, could be...pregnant. Not being completely sure, just basing it on gut feelings, she decided to head down to the nearest drug store to obtain a pregnancy test, ignoring everyone that greeted her, including X.

She shuffled nervously down each aisle, anticipation to get it over with eating away at her. Grabbing the first one she saw, she hurried her way to the cashier to make her purchase. Ignoring the judging and questioning stare from the clerk, Raven rushed out of the store and back to the tower.

What would X think if she was pregnant? What would he say, do? She wouldn't tell him if she wasn't, because that was pointless. She entered the tower cautiously, and was nearly to the bathroom when she passed the gang, including X, coming from the training room. Right. Today was training day to see how X was in combat, and Raven forgot.

Shit. As if reading her thoughts, the impatient leader demanded, "Raven. where were you? You missed training!" She tried to shove her way passed him when she felt a metal hand and a gloved one grabbed her shoulders spun her around to face them. "Rae, seriously, girl. Where were you at? Training is important especially when you're the one who suggested X be on the team."

Raven sighed in irritation, and attempted to leave once more when she felt another hand grab at her. Starfire. "Friend Raven, what is it that makes you so troubled? Is it the women's month of time that causes you burden?" The boys shuddered at this, yet Starfire remained unfazed. "No, Starfire. I just don't feel well. Everyone, just leave me alone."

Her voice showed only the slightest tinge of desperation, yet remained emotionless. Finally, she made her way past them and into the bathroom, locking herself inside. She leaned against the door, sighing in relief. Slowly, she sat down on the toilet and unwrapped the box. She shook the test out into her hand and read the directions. After finishing her business, she held the test out in front of her, waiting those two minutes to see her results.

An eternity seemed to go by, when the test beeped merely once, indicating the results were in. She nearly died of shock when she looked down at it. It was...blue. Blue. Blue was positive. The test was positive. She was pregnant. She buried her face in her hands, unsure of what to do. She had to tell X, but how? How would she break it to him that she was carrying his child?

Would he leave, or would he stay with her through it all? Did he really love her that much? For the first time, Raven was really, really afraid. Time had rapidly went by unknown to Raven, and she didn't realize how long she had been in there, until she heard a soft knock at the door. "Rae..Sunshine?" came X's worried voice. He hadn't seen her for the two hours she had been home. She had been locked up in the bathroom.

Raven couldn't deal with him right now. She just couldn't. "Go away, Jace. I need to be alone right now." He was confused. "Alone...in the bathroom?" He said, attempting to make a joke. Raven didn't find it funny. "Please. Go. I need to be alone right now. i'll talk to you later." As his footsteps faded away from her, Raven found herself sobbing. She finally stepped outside and headed down the hall, when she walked smack-dab into...Beast Boy.

He noticed her tears immediately. "Whoa, Rae. What's wrong?" Raven cried harder, unsure of what to say. Beast Boy took her hand and they sat down against the wall in the hall. (A/N: haha that rhymed. :P) He turned to her, his hand resting reassuringly on hers. "Rae..you can tell me. i'm here for you." Raven gripped his hand tightly in hers, and swallowed her tears as she found the courage to answer him. "I... I- I'm pregnant, BB."

She said, calling him by his nick name. His eyes widened in shock, but he pulled Rae into a hug. "Did you tell X?" He asked, not sure if he should get ready to be angry or not. Raven shook her head, whispering, "I don't know how." Beast Boy held her in the comforting hug, as he tried to figure out a way for her to tell X. "Just be honest with him, Rae. If he really loved you, he wouldn't care, just as long as you're okay."

Raven smiled at him, thankful. Even though Beast Boy was extremely childish at times, he always knew what to say, even in the worst of situations. As the two friends sat together in the hall, neither of them had noticed that another Titan had witnessed the whole confession, and they were enraged at the situation. Terribly enraged. Raven had a lot of explaining to do as to why She hadn't gone to them first instead of Beast Boy. Boy, was she in trouble.

**A/N: Sooo...Here's chapter 4! I know the pregnancy thing was a little rash, but i needed another twist in the story to further complicate the /Rae/X romance, because it seemed a little too..fairytale-ish, which isn't bad, just not as exciting. So who do you think the Titan watching was? Starfire? Robin? Cyborg, maybe? Or, X? Let me know in the comments! :D As always, read and review, people! The stories are for you, and i wouldn't mind hearing more ideas! :) P.S, i also am a fan of the BBxRae pairing, they're cute together :P Well...until next chapter guys...**

**Buh-Bye!**

**~~Beccky3**


	5. Denial and Depression

Robin wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there after Beast Boy had helped Raven to her room. Raven pregnant? By X, of all people? What was she thinking? He was disgusted. Disgusted, angry, disappointed...and sad. Hurt. Disgusted that Raven had gotten herself in a situation where it makes the Titans looked bad. Angry that after finding out that he had feelings for her, she ended up with his enemy. And was now pregnant by him. Disappointed she had been irresponsible in her new relationship, and most of all, he was hurt that it wasnt _him _she was with.

Sighing, he realized what he had to do. And he was doing it for Raven. He was going to tell X. Soon. Robin walked up the stairs towards the living room, only to be broken out of his train of thought by the incessant bickering of Beast-Boy, Cyborg...and X?

They were presumably fighting over whether to watch a movie, play video games, or go out for Pizza, from what he could gather. Beast Boy's immature voice was the one that reached his ears first, followed by Cyborg's.

"Duuuuude! I really, really, REALLY watch to watch Final Destination! It looked soooo coool!" His green ears perked up in excitement, but he shot a glare at Cyborg when he snorted obnoxiously. "BB, let's just play some video games and get pizza after. Or, are you afraid that you're gonna lose to me AGAIN? BOOYAH!" Cyborg pumped a fist to his chest and let out his signature victory call.

BeastBoy merely shrugged at Cyborg's remark, retorting, "Well, at least I'm not afraid to watch a scary movie, scaredycat!" Cyborg's eye narrowed in annoyance and the two friends were about to engage in an attempt at physical fighting when a hand wedged between them. Both guys turned to look at X.

"Fellas, let's not argue over something that can so easily be fixed. Let's go get some pizza, watch the movie, then play the video game. Then we can all go to bed hungry, happy, and a little scared." Both Beastboy and Cyborg looked happy with this arrangement, so they nodded in agreement.

That was when Robin decided to cut in. "Hey, X, before you go. There's something I need to talk to you about. It's concerning Raven." BeastBoy's head shot up and he stared wide-eyed at Robin. He shook his head no frantically, knowing what Robin was about to say. Robin pretended not to notice as X said, "Is she alright?! Tell me!" He stood up instantly, inches away from Robin. "It's Raven...she uh...uh.." He trailed off, unsure how to say it.

BeastBoy was about to get up and stop him, when he accidentally blurted out, "No, Robin, don't! Don't tell him that Raven's pregnant!" As soon as the words fell out of his mouth, he clasped both hands over it, shocked and ashamed. X froze, staring at Beast Boy in bewilderment.

"She...she's what?" He finally choked out. Beast boy groaned as he repeated, "Dude.. she's pregnant." His head hung low, knowing the betrayal he just committed to Raven. "And why haven't i known about this? Why did she tell you, and not me, her _boyfriend_?" Beast Boy didn't know what to say, so he remained quiet. "God, man. I don't want to deal with this or see her right now. I'm going out, I'll be back later."

Little did they know, Raven had been watching from the stairs. She had come up to make some tea, and had walked into earshot of the argument. Tears welled up in her eyes. X didn't want part of their baby's life? He didn't want her? No. He wouldn't. She was tainted goods.

She ran back down the stairs, careful not to make any noise. Walking into her room, she collapsed onto her floor, sobbing. Why was it her? Why was it always her that bad things happened to? Or did she cause bad things? Yes, she did. She was a bad person. Horrible, ugly, _evil. _She didn't deserve life.

Life was for people like X, who could change easily from evil to good. She didn't have that ability. Who would miss her when she was gone, anyway? She wasn't an asset to the team. Nothing. That's what she'd always be. Wiping away her tears, Raven made a decision.

She slowly got up and walked towards her nightstand. Opening it, she reached inside and pulled out a slender silver, amethyst blade. She closed her eyes in anticipation as she lowered the blade to her wrist. Pressing down, Raven bit her lip as the blade cut into her pale skin.

Scarlet rivulets of blood flowed beautifully out of the wound. Raven stared in dreamy admiration, and then continued to place another cut in her skin. It felt so...releasing. The pain she felt seemed to subside as she continued to cut. Why did people find it horrible? It helped get through so much pain.. it was like an antidote to misery.

Raven felt a tear slide down her face and drop into her wound. It stung, but she didn't care. What hurt more was that X had rejected her, her and their child. The blood seemed to pool out of her arm now, and it made her feel suddenly exhausted. Raven fell back onto her bed, spent. She felt her eyelids become extremely heavy, and her room became blurry and dotted with black spots as she finally closed them.

Beast Boy wandered past Raven's room several times. She was awfully quiet, even for her. Maybe she was sleeping, all the drama of today could've taken a toll on her. But it was still suspicious. It wasn't like her to be cooped up in her room all day, especially since she now was with X. Then, Beast-boy smelled it. The coppery, metallic scent of blood. It was so strong he could almost taste it. He began pounding on Raven's door, hysterical. "Rae, are you in there? Raven! Rae, answer me are you okay? Raven!" He sensed an extremely weak heartbeat, so he morphed into a gorilla and beat down her door. There was the purple-haired beauty, sprawled out on her bed, appearing to be asleep. But she wasn't. BeastBoy knew this because of the red that stained her wrists and rug. He rushed over to her, worry consuming him. He picked her up in his arms, and rushed out of the room, hurrying to Cyborg. He began screaming for him as he ran to the medical room. "Cyborg! Cyborg! It's Raven! Raven needs help! Hurry!" He bumped into Robin, followed by X who had wandered out from the training room to see what the commotion was. "Beast-Boy, what's all the shouting about, what's going on ..wha-" He stopped talking as he and X saw Raven in the green teen's arms. "No time!" BeastBoy yelled as he rushed through the door. "Yo, BB. What's happening?" Cyborg paused as he saw Raven curled up in his arms, bloody. He took Raven from BeastBoy, and laid her out on the table. Beast Boy swallowed his tears, shakily answering, "She tried to kill herself, Cyborg." Cyborg's eyebrow furrowed in confusion. "Why?" He asked, a simple question. Beastboy couldn't take his eyes off Raven, even as X and Robin, followed by a curious Starfire walked into the room. "Because, Cy... She's pregnant, and I think she heard what _he -" _he glared at X, "Had to say about it." X stood, wide-eyed in fear and shock. He stepped back cautiously as Cyborg turned from an interrogator to protective older brother. "_You _did this to Raven? You Little BASTARD!" Cyborg got ready to blast him, but was interrupted by a, "Cyborg, no!" and then everything went to complete and utter chaos.


	6. Love and Life

**A very big thanks to the reviews that i received! Please, continue to review! It motivates me to write the story, and i love hearing what you have to say. Anyways, thanks again! much love :)**

**Previously on The Bond of Love: ****"****Because, Cy... She's pregnant, and I think she heard what **_**he -" **_**he glared at X, "Had to say about it." X stood, wide-eyed in fear and shock. He stepped back cautiously as Cyborg turned from an interrogator to protective older brother. "**_**You **_**did this to Raven? You Little BASTARD!" Cyborg got ready to blast him, but was interrupted by a, "Cyborg, no!" and then everything went to complete and utter chaos.**

She wasn't in heaven, nor in Hell. Raven Roth wasn't dead, just unconscious. Unconscious, but very much alive. She found herself in the hallucination of Azarath, her homeland.

It was restored, salvaged from the chaos and havoc Trigon had wreaked upon it. The beautiful sky-high towers, luminous with the moonlight shining down upon them. Even the crystal blue, almost silver waterfalls that were once dried up, had resumed to cascade from the grandiose mountains.

It was hard to see it again , as she had not visited Azarath since Trigon's defeat. It was also hard to believe that she, a half-demon destined to destroy the world, had been raised in a serene and quiescent city. Though ecstatic to be here, she didn't know why she was in the first place. Raven hadn't felt the need to be here, it was safer that way.

If she came here on her own terms, she would be risking the life of Azarath...including its people. Including Arella...her mother. She hadn't spoken to Arella since the battle with Trigon, and that was fine with Raven. All she wanted was the satisfaction that her mother was safe, that her demon father couldn't harm her. But...still. She missed her mother dearly. Shaking her head out of the thought, she began thinking of the reason why she was here. It was peculiar to her.

As if on cue, a voice brought her out of her thoughts. Soothing, calm...Arella? Her mother? "You must be wondering why you're here, my daughter." A sad smile formed on her face, strikingly resembling Raven's.

She took a step toward Raven, grabbing her hand in hers, firmly. Raven nodded, wracking her brain for the reason. "You see, sweet Raven.. you tried to end your life. But your team saved you. The green one, he got to you before you passed on to the afterlife."

Raven cocked her head, confused even further. "So? That doesn't explain why i'm here." Arella shook her head, it was typical her daughter would show her stubborn-ness, even at the worst of times.

"You're here because i summoned your spirit. I could sense your life slipping away, and i needed you to open your eyes, dear Raven. You cannot just leave. There are people that love you." Raven crossed her arms in disbelief, not buying it for a second. "Yeah, like who?"

Arella gripped her hand tighter, desperate for her daughter to realize the truth. "I know it may not feel like it, but there are. like me, your mother. And what about your team? That naive, but sweet girl, the alien. The electronic man, the one who claims you as his little sibling. What of the leader and the changeling, Robin and Beastboy? Do they not love you?"

Her darker violet eyes bore into Ravens, determined to get her stubborn daughter to believe. Her mother glanced down at her daughter's now stomach, knowing full well a grandchild was growing inside. "What of my grandchild, are you going to end its life before you even give yourself a chance to love it?" Her pretty features turned in a deep frown. "How can my child grow up with me knowing that it's father doesn't appreciate it? That isn't fair!" Raven argued, determined not to lose this battle.

Arella laughed, terribly amused. The girl was completely ignorant, it was as if she didn't truly believe that it was _her_ own child she was carrying. "Did _you_ not grow up with a father, that showed no love or compassion for you? You downplay your unborn child's strength, Raven. It will learn as you did, it will be strong as you were. But who says the father won't be involved?"

Knowing her daughter was about to protest, Arella continued. "He is just scared, daughter. It scares him that he helped create a life, and he is unsure if he would be a fit parent, to be able to love it unconditionally. I can sense his fear, Raven. He loves you too much and he is afraid that he would mess it all up."

"So what should I do, Arella? I am afraid too, how could i possibly be an appropriate mother, when I myself have to live in fear, fear that Trigon could somehow take everything away from me?" Despair leaked into her monotonous tone.

Slender arms wrapped themselves around Raven's thin form, Arella brought her daughter close to her. It brought her great relief that Raven felt emotion, even if they were negative ones. Her daughter was not doomed, she could _feel. _Trigon had been right about her, Raven _was _strong, just in a moral sense.

"Your father is long gone. His spirit still causes turmoil, but he cannot revert to his physical form. You destroyed him, Raven. In his spiritual form, his powers are weak compared to what they once were. He is nothing." A slight smile formed on Raven's lips, letting her mother's words sink in. Her mother was wise, she always knew Raven's troubles, and a solution to every single one.

As a way of showing her gratitude, Raven asked, "When will I see you again?" Arella stroked her daughter's cheek, admiring the softness. Then, lightly cupping her face in the palm of her hand, Arella answered, "Your home, and I as well, will always be here when you wish to return. All you must do is arrive, my darling." Raven nodded, and held onto her mother tightly.

As she held on, she found Azarath around her fading away, as her mother reminded her, "Remember what I told you, Raven. Take care, my child." Then Arella and Azarath were gone, and Raven found herself swallowed back into darkness. Instantaneously, after darkness blanketed her, Raven opened her eyes to the sound of beeping, and a voice. Cyborg...? She propped herself up on her elbows and observed her surroundings.

She was in the infirmary, dressed in a temporary hospital gown... and three fellow titans were in the beginnings of a brawl, when someone yelled out, "Cyborg, no!" It had come from Robin. She glanced over to Cyborg who had his blasted ready and aimed at... X. Cyborg yelled at Robin, "But this idiot got Rae pregnant, and now he has the nerve to try and ditch her? Hell, no. i knew he was bad news!"

Beast boy had tried to distract the cybernetic man from blasting X by morphing into a monkey and jumping on his back, only to be thrown off and crashing into the med-cart. Starfire suddenly appeared in front of X, crossing her arms in determination, still staring icily but curiously at Robin.

"Friend, please let Robin do the explaining for the reason as to why we should not blast this _turgdarh _to what you humans say, 'smithereens'." Cyborg sighed in defeat, but lowered his cannon and turned to his leader, waiting. Robin ran a hand through his hair as he nervously began to speak. "You see, uh, well... I overheard Raven telling BeastBoy her predicament, and well, she ended up deciding that _she _would tell X, because BeastBoy wanted to. But i was angry and Raven for going into a relationship with my enemy, when i loved her, so I blurted it out, knowing X would get mad that Raven didn't just tell him first. I wanted to ruin her relationship. I'm sorry."

Cyborg huffed in disbelief, before retorting, "well it's not me you should be apologizing to. Turn around and apologize to Rae." Robin began to say "She's not awake," when he turned to face Raven, and found that she was, and she was pissed.

Her violet eyes had split and separated into four glowing crimson ones, and her teeth were bared in fury. "Raven, wait! Let me explain.." Robin began, but the booming, infuriated voice of Raven stopped him in his speech. "_You _were the reason X got so upset with me. _You _broke my heart, and then decided that you wanted me after i decided to move on! _You _caused me to do this-" She ripped the bandages off her arms and showed him the healing cuts.

"And you expect me to be okay with everything, to be all sunshine and dandy, just because you're _SORRY?_" She screamed the last word, as her eyes returned to normal, but became cold and distant instantly. Robin stared at her, speechless and astounded. "Raven..I'm sorry."

He hung his head in shame, waiting for her to respond. Her voice was eerily quiet, and deathly cold. "You are a sorry excuse for a leader, Robin." She swung her legs over the side of the bed, and jumped off, walking to the door. As she walked past him, X grabbed her arm, saying her name softly.

"Rae-" She yanked her arm out of his grip, hissing out, "Don't." And then she walked off towards the solitude of the roof, since Cyborg prohibited her from going to her room until it was properly cleansed of the blood. She sat in her lotus position, and just stared out at the view of the city.

Raven didn't feel like meditating. She didn't know or care how long she had sat in silence until she heard the door open behind her. She stiffened, figuring it was probably Robin, attempting to apologize profusely, again. Raven was about to turn out to chew him out again, when she heard the voice of the intruder. X. Jason. She closed her eyes in defeat as she felt him sit down next to her.

He didn't bother trying to hold her hand or anything, X just wanted her to hear him out. "Raven...I'm sorry about my reaction. It was just a shock to me, too big for me to digest right away. I didn't know what to do, or say. I was mad because i wanted to hear it from you. You shouldn't be afraid to tell me things, Sunshine. I'm going to be there for you and our baby no matter what. I love you, Raven." She finally turned to face him, and her head fell on his shoulder.

"I love you too, Jason. I'm just scared of raising this baby." X wrapped an arm around her shoulder and used his other to lift her face up towards his, and looked into her eyes. "It's okay to be scared, Rae. I'll be with you every step of the way. I promise to you." Raven smiled, and she leaned up to kiss him. His hand traveled down towards her abdomen and he rubbed the slowly growing bump.

"I just can't believe that we're going to have a baby. I can't wait to see what we created together." Raven grinned and looked down towards her stomach. "I just know that it's going to be an amazing child. I can feel it." they stayed like that for a while, intertwined with one another.

Both Raven and X had never been happier. their lives were positively changed with the presence of love in their lives. X had come a long way from being a thieving criminal to a father-to-be in love. Raven too had come a long way, from being a loner titan locked away in her room, to a happier girl in love, carrying a gift.

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, X got down on one knee in front of her. He pulled a small indigo velvet box from out of the pocket in his belt. "Raven Roth, will you marry me?" Raven couldn't speak. She was in shock. What would she say?

**So there's chapter 6. I definitely love ending with a cliffhanger. Please, as always: Read and Review! Thanks guys :) I will update soon!**

**~Beccky**


	7. Love and Pain

Raven was frozen in shock, staring down at X, who was presenting a ring to her. It was beautiful, a light gold band, with a grand amethyst in the center. The ring was simple, elegant, _her._ But could she marry X? Was it too soon, too risky? She thought of how life would be if she did.

Having a soulmate, a life filled with endless love...a child. Rubbing her belly, Raven thought of her unborn child. Would her baby inherit her genetics, or X? Maybe the genes would be split in half, creating something truly exotic. She already had a name in mind if the baby was a girl. Without meaning to, she accidentally blurted it out.

"Zara," She said out of nowhere. Jason cocked his head in bewilderment. What was she talking about. Raven laughed feeling foolish for letting that slipped and she began to explain herself. "The baby. If the baby's a girl I want to name her Zara. Zara Rose." Jason's face broke out into a huge grin, he loved the name. "That's a beautiful name, princess. I just hope the baby comes out to be as gorgeous as you."

Raven blushed in flattery, but looked up to Jason's twinkling eyes as his voice got her attention again. "You still haven't answered my question, sunshine o' mine." She looked back down at the ring, still presented to her. A huge grin plastered itself on her face, very un-raven like. Then a shrill sound that could've been mistaken for Starfire escaped her lips. "Yes! Oh, Azar, yes!"

She wrapped her arms around Jason's neck, positively thrilled. This was the end of her misery and the beginning of her joy. Her violet-indigo eyes glistened with tears of elation, and her face flushed with pleasure. What more could Raven ask for?

And even though she tried to stop the thought running through her head, Raven knew that she had to tell Starfire. Star would be able to help her with all the...girly things, but Raven would make sure that her and Jason's reception wouldn't just be an explosion of pink. She hesitated before telling Jason, a little guilty for ruining their moment, but confessed.

"Jay.. You might hate me for this...but..I really want.." As he slipped the ring on her finger, he finished for her. "To go tell Starfire. I know. She's your best friend. Go on, Rae. I really don't mind. I'm just glad you said yes." He ran his hand through her purple locks and kissed her lightly on the lips. Raven took that as her cue to get up, and she did.

Leaving the roof, she made her way down to Starfire's room. As she neared it, the overwhelming smell of vanilla and candy wafted into her nostrils. Cringing in disgust, Raven continued to the door, and knocked eagerly on it. Almost immediately, the red-headed alien answered it, her green eyes peering innocently into Ravens. "Friend Raven, did you wish to partake in the earthly ritual of the painting of the toenails?" She held up a bottle of pink nail-polish, and raven vigorously shook her head

"No, Star. I came to talk to you. I have great news." Starfire's eyes lit up in excitement as she grabbed Raven's hand and pulled her into her room. "Oh, how joyous! What is the news of which you speak?" Raven smiled softly, as she observed Starfire's peaking interest. "Jason asked me to marry him." She held out her left hand for Starfire to examine her ring.

"And I said yes!" Eyes bugging out in shock and awe, Starfire wrapped her arms around Raven's waist and hugged her, tightly. "Oh, what glorious news! I simply cannot explain how happy i am for you, Friend Raven! You will need help picking out the flowers, the cake of wedding, and the dress...ooo"

She was interrupted by Raven tapping her shoulder persistently. "Star...can't breathe.."Starfire instantly let go, and Raven dropped to the ground. "Apologies, Raven. I am just too filled with the joy!" Raven nodded in understanding, and got to her feet. Next, she had to tell Robin. That was going to be tricky. She hadn't spoken to him at all since the incident, but she felt like he needed to know coming from her. So he wouldn't try to wreck things with X again.

After biding her goodbyes to Starfire, Raven walked towards Robin's room. She was nervous, but she didn't know why. She finally got to his room, and hesitantly knocked on the door. He yelled, "Come in!" and Raven did. He was sitting down on the couch in his room, and turned to look at Raven. He tensed up when he saw her, and gave a curt nod. "Raven."

She walked over and sat down next to him, wringing her hands together. "Robin. I need to talk to you." Robin sighed heavily and nodded, signaling her to continue. "Well.. X and i are getting married." The look in Robin's mask shifted from shock, to sadness, then anger. Rage. "And this is relevant to me how?" He said haughtily.

"Well, i figured i ought to tell you beforehand, so you don't try to ruin my relationship _again._" Robin flinched at the words, but remained angry. "So. How the hell do you think you're going to function on the team? First, you're pregnant. Now you're getting _married?" _You are making the team look like a joke, Raven." She didn't understand his anger. "Why are you so angry, Robin? You haven't a right to be." Robin scoffed, shaking his head at her.

"I don't need a right to have feelings, Raven . At least I can control mine. If you really don't know, I'm angry because of you. You said you were in love with me, and i was too late to tell you, but i loved you back. But you didn't give me a chance to explain. What's so messed up is that after you claim to love me, you go and 'fall in love' with X, and get pregnant by him! Only desperate people do that, Raven."

The words lashed at her heart, but she ignored it, let rage come through.

"No, Robin. I moved on. I just had to let go. A tiny part of me still has feelings for you, but it's not worth it to act on them. _You _aren't worth it." Robin's mask widened in appallment, in disbelief. Then it crumpled in rage, uncontrollable rage. "Do you really think it would be that easy, Raven? To forget about me? You'll always love me and you know it. But that doesn't mean you can talk to me that way."

Then, his hand came crashing down into the side of her face. She yelped in pain, but was afraid to move. Clutching where he hit her, Raven looked scaredly up at him. He growled in rage, and his hand came down upon her again. This time in her neck, and she fell back onto the ground.

She felt his steel-toed boot connect with her body again and again, until to her relief, it ceased. Suddenly, he kneeled down next to her shaking form. His hand snaked around her throat, and he held on to it, tightly. She gasped for breath as he looked down at her, leering.

"You won't tell anyone what happened, because if you do, i'll tell them that you lost control of your emotions and nearly killed me. I was only defending myself. See how quickly you'll be off the team." He gazed down into her leaking eyes, and said quietly, menacingly, "Now, get up and get out."

Raven weakly got to her feet, and clutched her side as she made her way out the door. She wouldn't be able to heal these wounds, but she wasn't worried about her. She was worried about the baby. As she made it to her room, the pain in her body got so intense, she cried out loudly. Then her world went black. How could Robin do this? She wished she could tell someone...

**Annnnd.. There's Chapter 7, folks! I decided that Robin's jealousy would turn into anger, and his obsession with Raven would turn into abuse. I felt it was a good dark twist to Robin's normally heroic character. Anyways, I will update soon. But please, as always, Read & Review! Thanks 3 **

**~~Beccky**


	8. Resistance and Retaliation

She wasn't sure how long she'd been unconscious, but as she awoke to the sun's feeble attempt at shining in her room, Raven figured it had been many hours. Dull, throbbing pain made it's presence known in her head and ribs, and groaned weakly.

Raven had hoped that the events that took place last night were just an unpleasant nightmare, but the evident bruises that marred her pale face and throat proved her wrong. As the memories of the previous night in Robin's room flooded back to her, Raven felt her emotions spin out of control. The rage in her screamed at her to get revenge, to show him what a half-demon could really do. Knowledge told her that though what Robin had done was terribly wrong, Raven had to keep it to herself so she remained safe.

To her utter annoyance, the Happy part of Raven was optimistic about the recent events. She claimed that because Robin acted so harshly, he was showing that he cared about her. Her inner rudeness said that she shouldn't have been stupid enough to tell Robin, and that she should've fought back. This only caused the Timid side of her to cry out in anguish, desperate to believe that the Boy Wonder wasn't still angry with her.

But her heart told a completely different story. Her Heart told her to ignore every single emotion she was feeling, to turn it off. Raven's eyes glowed black ,and so did several objects in her room as she felt her emotions overwhelm her. There was no other way. She had to go to Nevermore and sort things out, before everything got way out of hand. As she ventured through the portal of her magical mirror, Raven only hoped that this visit would help her ease her situation. Permanently.

Robin awoke from a dreamless sleep, with his head pounding incessantly. He scrambled out of bed, when he felt a burning sensation on both knuckles. He looked down to see them slightly scabbed, and it alarmed him. How did he get these wounds?

Remembering nothing of the night before, Robin slipped his gloves on, and wandered upstairs to the common room. He was instantly greeted with a weird commotion going on before him. Starfire was asking nonstop if anyone wanted breakfast and why the others were not listening to her, while Cyborg, BB, and X were arguing amongst each other.

"She's _Your _fiancee, dude! How the hell do you not know where she is?" Beast boy was saying. "Ummm, Because I assumed she was with Starfire still talking, so i stayed up watching TV in here all night." Cyborg shook his head, motioning for them to stop. "Look, Rae is probably just in her room resting. Let's all just calm down and let her be, and eat. Okay?" Beast Boy was not having it, and argued, "Dude! I just find it really weird that Raven hasn't come up for tea yet, and I feel like _he _has something to do with it!"

Cyborg groaned in frustration, the green little man was always trying to play detective. X snarled at Beastboy, unwilling to let him have the last word, "Instead of accusing me of something, why don't you try and ask Birdbrain over there, he has a bigass scratch on his cheek!" All three men turned to look at their leader, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Underneath the edge of his mask on the right eye were two thin, but noticeably angry, red scratches coming down his cheek. Robin backed away cautiously, stating, "I got itchy in my sleep? What? It's not a crime!"

X, Starfire and Cyborg seemed to be fine with this excuse, but BB was unfazed. "No...Rob you fought someone. Look at yourself, Dude! Was it Slade?" His gaze directed at Robin turned deadly serious, _too _serious for BeastBoy. "If it is, I am sure as hell not letting that..that robot-thingy touch Rae again. So is it?" Robin shook his head, unable to speak.

He couldn't remember how he got those scratches and it killed him. What if he did get in a fight, not necessarily with Slade, but still? And now Raven wasn't coming upstairs, and it was nearly noon. That wasn't like her. What if...no. What if it was _he _who had gotten into a fight with _Raven? _He sank down into the sofa and sighed. It didn't make sense. Why couldn't he just remember? Ever since Raven had fallen for X...Robin felt these emotions that he had hidden deep within him rise to the surface. Love. Passion. Hate. Jealousy. He shouldn't be feeling this way...He loved Starfire..didn't he? He got up, unwilling to participate in the other Titan's bantering about Raven, and walked to his room. He had to remember.

"Yo, B! What was that about? You shouldn't have brought up Slade again...You know how Rob gets," Cyborg chided Beastboy. He too was in shock, and somewhat suspicious of his leader. The last time Robin acted like this was when he was hell-bent on tracking his nemesis. But that did not explain the scratches on his face.

Beastboy glared at the spot where Robin had been. "It doesn't add up, Cy. Raven won't come out of her room, Robin has marks on his cheek. What's going on?" Dude..." Starfire glided over to the two friends, and stared meaningfully at them, green eyes glistening jovially, pleadingly. "Please, let us just do the calming down and eat the meal that i have prepared for the consuming of Breakfast!" She had prepared an array of 'meals' that were questionably edible. X got up from the stool he sat on, and he and the two boys shared a similar look of uncertainty.

The food almost looked like... mold. There wide a wide range of food, dully colored yellow, green, and, not surprisingly, blue. Starfire stood next to the meal, beaming with pride. Beast Boy pointed cautiously at the food, unwilling to eat what was unknown. Face breaking out into a luminous grin, Starfire explained. "This-" She pointed to the green goo, "Is Glorg, a delicacy on my home planet!"

Quickly, she scooped some on to three plates, and moved on to the next dish. The yellow one. "This are Balflorg Valbreenkas, similar to what earthling's call 'mashed potatoes'! It was a personal favorite of mine when my family used to serve it. It was most savory, indeed!" Currently, all three boys were planning on eating the Balflorg whatever, simply because she had compared it to mashed potatoes, which they all found delicious. They all gulped though, when she turned their attention to the blue creation.

It looked slimy and lumpy, as if it was ready to rise up and eat _them_. Starfire seemed most joyous as she presented the ill-looking dish to them. "This, friends, is the famous Tamaranean dish, 'Blaach meat'! It is marinated, and seasoned to the consumer's content! With Mustard! So, which shall you try first? Perhaps Glorg?" She held up the vile green food in the boy's faces, and the distinctly disgusting smell of rotten eggs, cinnamon, and salmon wafted into their nostrils. X and Cyborg used all their willpower to not be sick on the spot, but their green friend could not handle it.

He leaned over, hand on his abdomen and moaned agonized, "Oh, Tofu, what i wouldn't give to have you!" And proceeded to collapse on the floor from illness. Starfire looked down at him curiously, and then turned to her cybernetic friend and X. "Perhaps he was 'sick' with the love for Glorg?" Her emerald eyes blinked innocently at them. Cy and X shook their heads before getting up to help Beast Boy. This boy would not be able to eat _anything _but tofu, it seemed.

As soon as Raven had stepped into Nevermore, she instantly, and full-heartedly regretted it. All of her emotions suddenly huddled around her, informing her of what they were feeling. The pink-clad emotion, Happy, came out from the clustered emotions and exclaimed, "Rae-Rae! You're back! ooh, look even your face has healed up! Y'know, Robby-poo is a preeeetttttttyyy tough guy!" Happy pressed a hand to her mouth and giggled elatedly.

"Oh, yeah. That's attractive, the leader, our _friend _hurting us physically. _Reaal _good quality," Retorted Sarcasm, the rust-colored shrugged helplessly, not knowing what to say. "Maybe...maybe he just had a bad day?" Sarcasm rolled her eyes at her and was about to reply when another voice cut her off. A sad, melancholic, almost hopeless voice. Timid.

Slouching in her gray cloak, she mumbled sadly, "I just really hope he doesn't hate us any longer... I wish i could tell him i was sorry for arguing..." The other two emotions and Raven looked at her incredulously, and Raven's knowledge came to intervene before Sarcasm broke what was left of Timid's spirit. The canary-yellow cloaked emotion gazed knowingly at the others. She shook her head, silently chastising Raven for not seeing the truth behind Robin. The inner darkness, instability, his rage.

Raven experienced all those things, yet did not see it staring her in the face until it hit her. Literally. "Now that you do know, you simply cannot just let him defile you any further by letting him act like this. Though he has the darkness inside him as we do ours, he is not totally gone from lightness." Peering at her through her through her glasses, Knowledge gave a slight smile.

Brow furrowed in confusion, Raven asked, "Wait...so what do you mean? Is there a way for him to change, somehow?" Knowledge nodded her head, taking a lotus position across from Raven. "You see, Robin has never, _ever _acted on such darkness before, only during his brief time with Slade. This is not the typical Robin we know, and I strongly believe that he was not himself when he hurt us." Bravery suddenly came out of the clan, her emerald green cape flowing behind her.

"So? Whatever's messing with Boy Blunder's mind isn't a challenge we can't handle! We'll take this thing down in no time!" She threw her fist into the air, determined to show her flawless confidence. Knowledge raised an eyebrow at this before turning to Raven."We will most certainly not battle something we know nothing of, Brave. But i do suggest, Raven, that we stick our heads together and find out." Raven nodded, absent-mindedly picking her nails, a habit she had broken long ago. A nervous one. "What happens if we fail?," she asked, almost fearfully.

"We will just have to make sure we won't," Knowledge reassured her. Satisfied with what information she gathered from her emotions, Raven teleported herself back into her room. She was suddenly tired, with this new information weighing heavily on her brain.

Opening her door, she decided that she needed to have her Herbal tea. It helped her think, feel at peace. After that, a nice long session of mediation would help ease her burdened mind even further. Yes... it most certainly would. As she walked towards the stairs towards the common room, she didn't notice as she crashed into something hard...yet soft. As she stumbled to the ground, she looked wide-eyed up at the cause. She gasped. "_Robin_?"

**Annnnnnnnnnd here's Chapter 8, Folks! Sorry for the late update, I'm getting ready to leave for a trip. I hope to update by next week though! It's actually pretty fun to create dialog using Raven's emotions. Anyways, next chapter will have more insight on what's going on with Robin. And, more X and Rae fluff. 3 As always, read and review! I looove to get them! :)**

**~~~Beccky**


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